Friday, June 19, 2009

You need a sense of humor to fly

It's time to start packing my bags, getting ready for my 4 days in Orlando, and someone was nice enough to share these photos and comments with me.

Flight attendants say the funniest things. Have you noticed? Here are some of my favorites:

"People, people, we're not picking out furniture here. Find a seat and get in it!"

and this one:

"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis a flight attendant announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because sure as hell everything has shifted after a landing like that."

And this is what a flight attendant said after an extremely hard landing in Amarillo, TX on a windy, bumpy day: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate."

Another good one:

The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while passengers exited, smile, and give them a "thanks for flying our airline". Because he'd hammered into the runway really hard he had a tough time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question? Did we land, or were we shot down?"

And you know how they caution you not to leave anything behind?

"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please don't leave children or spouses...except for that gentleman over there."

I used to be terrified to fly but now that I'm on planes for multiple flights throughout the year, I don't mind so much. I don't like take off and I don't like landing. I don't like long flights from NC to CA because I hate to use the restroom on planes. I always ask for an aisle seat so I'm not crawling over anyone to get up. Yet it means getting up so my seat mates can go to the potty. Aisle seats also mean you'll be bumped during boarding and during refreshments.
There have been several flights when the pilot would announce sights out the windows on your left, or on your right, but I've not seen them. Seems the people who request the window seats don't actually want to sightsee, they want to sleep. And to do that, they close the window shades. Judging from the above photo, I'm kinda glad I'm not looking out the windows.

Now I'm not the best driver, but I think I could've done as well as this guy.

I always arrive more than an hour early because I don't want to miss a flight due to some hangup in the security lines. Once my bags and my person have been searched, I put my footies back in my bag, slip on my shoes, and head to my gate to find the perfect seat. I like to sit near the windows, watching the little trains come out with the luggage, and I'm always looking to see if my bags are going onboard. This isn't anything I'd want to see, even though I'm sure it was an empty container.
I'll be posting photos of the studio this weekend in it's current state, with one table stacked far too high with supplies. And I've got 3 gals coming over tonight to help pack my kits so I'll get photos of the production lines, just so you can appreciate how much effort goes into my teaching. And then, with luck, I'll have photos of the kits, all pretty and ready for their unveiling. (I'm not going to panic because my stencils & spritzers haven't arrived.)
Check back and see how the magic happens.

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